Fall

Today I went for a jog around the lake. I was feeling out of sorts and uncomfortable in my own skin, and I decided to go for a walk. It wasn't meant to be a jog, but I just needed to run. I was observing all of the leaves that have changed color and the ones that have already fallen to the ground...it seems early. I think the planet is confused. I started thinking about Fall and how it has always been my favorite season. I felt like I missed it when I was living in California. It seemed like one continuous season out there. Then I started thinking about last Fall and how we lost Tyler. I was remembering how fragile he looked, how his skin changed color as he ultimately fell away from this physical world. The anniversary of his death isn't far off and I'm scared of how I'm going to cope. I can't believe it has been almost a year. I can still see his face and hear his voice. We will most
likely be on our way to New Orleans on that anniversary day...

I want to run now, but it's the middle of the night. The house is silent and I just want to cry. I want to feel safe in my skin again.