Sideways

This is a good depiction of how my world feels right now. It has nothing to do with Sponge Bob, the stuffed Herpes virus (courtesy of my friend, Meryl) or the worry doll. Although the worry doll came in handy last week. He/she has since disappeared from this spot. I think it may have jumped...couldn't handle the burden of my worries.

Things are a little off...a little sideways. I don't quite feel like me. This persona seems to rear its ugly head when I spend time in Indianapolis. It has gotten worse since Tyler passed away, but the discombobulated feeling has been there every time I've come back here since I moved away in November 2006. I struggle with the old, unsure, insecure me and I feel like I don't know how to be...me. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

Tomorrow is another day. Maybe when I wake up this picture will no longer be sideways and I'll be me again. Maybe I will have won the lottery too (even though I haven't bought a ticket)...

Could happen.