My reality

I took this picture yesterday on my way to work. I was trying to capture the beautiful sunset I was seeing, but this picture came out a bit skewed. I love it because it seems to capture my world. There's beauty all around me, but there's also fear and a lot of unknowns. I sit at work in my secure little job night after night and I wonder 'what am I doing here?' Sure I made big changes in my life a couple years ago and I give myself many kudos for that, as I am a much happier person. So why am I sitting there feeling like I'm wasting my time and talents. My brain is in a state of atrophy and my soul is starving for more. The changes I have made are taking me in the right direction, but my journey is in its infancy.

The unexpected passing of my brother, Tyler, has been another catalyst for change in my life. My whole person has been forever altered, and it's my job to take the best from that and put it to work for me. I need to use it to create the best life I can.

My partner and I have been brainstorming about new creative outlets and how to turn those into money-making opportunities. It can be overwhelming at times, as we both tend to want to figure it all out now! I struggle with where I fit in the picture and how I can contribute. Most of that is fear and old self-esteem issues creeping in. When it comes right down to it, if I can overcome those obstacles, I know I can do anything I want. I am capable.

I think that's enough musing for one day, or at least for this moment. I'm a little weary and buzzing on caffeine, so my head is spinning. One final thought. I am my own worst enemy, and I need to step aside and get out of my way.